Fo' Chau
(media.weekendgunnit.win)
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Some Scottish homo on the interwebs tried to tell me it was pronounced "Shoe-Sha" and I was like "way to still be a part of the English empire, sack up and throw down its pronounced Show-Show". And he was all like "kilts and haggas on your family!" Or something. I don't know, I didn't care because I'm an orphan
C'mon man, don't be so down on yourself. Just because you disappointed your dad into a 15 year-running cigarette trip and your mom's perpetually absent because she's caught in a vicious cycle of "chewing benzos and chugging cheap wine to dull the pain of getting fucked by random dudes for money so she can buy more benzos and cheap wine so she can fuck more dudes for money" doesn't mean you're an orphan. I sure they'll come around if you try real hard and actually accomplish something in your life that's worth them taking the time to be proud and give a shit. You can do it, slugger. I believe in you. Maybe join the Marines and buy a brand new muscle car completely on credit or something... thats never been a mistake for anyone.
But I did accomplish something, I beat Assassin's Creed IV and collected 100% of everything, that's hard man. AND DAD WILL COME BACK
For real though. Two out of three on that one. I spent my deployment money (you guess it, Marines) on a Mustang GT. But I feel like if you guess the first one the second is a gimmie
I hope the fact that you had deployment money to spend means that you dodged the dependapotamus that spent your entire deployment specializing in being airtighted by every swinging dick that ever so much as glanced at her in high school.
Damn you 3 for 3