I see you have chosen Modelo, as a man of culture and taste, though I lean Pacifico myself when it comes to southern senoritas (also Mestizo women are dangerous to me. Every gene in my body screams at me to put them in her)

Modelo is a fine choice and I’ve nothing negative to say about it. But what if you want wine? Then shut the fuck up grape juice is for cowards and traps. Liquor, on the other hand?

Get you some good lemons and limes, juice em, and throw some slightly warmed honey in there with it (or agave syrup or simple whatever the fuck). Get a nice egg, decant the yolk, and beat the whites until smooth. Think about beating communism out of Antifaggots skulls. Think about the elegance of pistol whipping, a type of martial arts that has existed as long as pistols. Mmm. That’s good stuff.

Now dump them egg whites in a glass, throw a (bunch of) jiggers of bourbon on some ice in a cocktail mixer (or a plastic bag for our trailer frens) and pour the sour mix on top. Shake it like our mothers shook us when we wouldn’t stop asking for the nipple. Shake it like a magic 8ball giving you sass. Shake it like that British spy whatever liked his women and cocktails.

Add this mix to the glass, toss a piece of ice in, and throw a luxardo cherry if you’re feelin fancy. Sip one handed to allow free hand for guns.