Remember to exercise tards, its good for you. You're basically useless if you just a sack of potatoes and lard. Go run, lift weights, something just get the fuck outside. Try low fat tendies or even grilled marinated tendies, bug uncle scruff for some healthy tendy recipes. Or better yet earn your tendies by exercise. Don't be a loot pinata.
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I put together a home gym and started working out for this very reason. Also my plate carrier is heavy and the fit is tight.