Huh, you may have sold me on a bidet. I wanted one to help improve my hydration status and to make me feel like I was letting a puppy dog lick Skippy peanut butter off my asshole without having to hire another lawyer and face jail time.
Fuck man, shit brings back memories. I used to be a bartender at a bar in a shitty part of Philly. We had about 30 cameras throughout the bar, but nobody ever monitored them. The only time we had to use them was if the police requested footage (because of a fight or whatever) or if the place was vandalized. Since I knew how to work the system, I was the guy who had to go through the footage.
So one day we come in to open up the bar, and there is just a ton of blood. Fucking everywhere. On the doors, the walls, the bar top, all over the place. We found a few bullet casings on the floor as well. Searched the whole bar and didn't find anyone there. So I go to pull up the security footage to see what the fuck happened that night while the bar was closed. I went into our computer closet area (where the security DVR as well as all the cable boxes for the TVs are) and had to move a few cable boxes aside to get to the DVR. I didn't realize at the time, but I had disconnected the cable box for one of the main TVs downstairs. One of the other bartenders, who was kind of an idiot, spent twenty minutes trying to get the TV to work before I realized what I did. I told her a common trick to fix this was to take the batteries out of the remote and pour salt on them. As she was doing this, I went and reconnected the cable box. When she put the salted batteries back in the remote, the cable magically turned back on. I've caught her pouring salt on remote batteries three separate times since then whenever a TV isn't working. What a moron.
How many shelves full of ass paper do you have, you hoarding motherfucker?
Huh, you may have sold me on a bidet. I wanted one to help improve my hydration status and to make me feel like I was letting a puppy dog lick Skippy peanut butter off my asshole without having to hire another lawyer and face jail time.
It's fucking magical, no joke. Get the one with the hot water line. Your ass will thank me, and then thank me again.
Do you waffle stomp the turd down the shower drain or do you carry it to the waste bin?
Don't say waffle stop like it's a bad thing. You ain't never had a kid shit in the tub before have you?
Kid? No, I’m talking from first-hand experience. It happens from time to time.
Interesting
Look at Dr. Moneybags over here with running water and a shower.
I can find some honkies in trailers living in the boonies with rain barrels attached to their roofs who had their privilege check bounce.
Fuck man, shit brings back memories. I used to be a bartender at a bar in a shitty part of Philly. We had about 30 cameras throughout the bar, but nobody ever monitored them. The only time we had to use them was if the police requested footage (because of a fight or whatever) or if the place was vandalized. Since I knew how to work the system, I was the guy who had to go through the footage.
So one day we come in to open up the bar, and there is just a ton of blood. Fucking everywhere. On the doors, the walls, the bar top, all over the place. We found a few bullet casings on the floor as well. Searched the whole bar and didn't find anyone there. So I go to pull up the security footage to see what the fuck happened that night while the bar was closed. I went into our computer closet area (where the security DVR as well as all the cable boxes for the TVs are) and had to move a few cable boxes aside to get to the DVR. I didn't realize at the time, but I had disconnected the cable box for one of the main TVs downstairs. One of the other bartenders, who was kind of an idiot, spent twenty minutes trying to get the TV to work before I realized what I did. I told her a common trick to fix this was to take the batteries out of the remote and pour salt on them. As she was doing this, I went and reconnected the cable box. When she put the salted batteries back in the remote, the cable magically turned back on. I've caught her pouring salt on remote batteries three separate times since then whenever a TV isn't working. What a moron.
You mother fucker you
I wouldn't want anything else to touch my brown eye then ol' fashion kirkland shit tickets