You are absolutely correct.

First things first, you’ll need a gun. If you don’t have a good retention holster on a battle belt (so clearly no access to an HK), you’ll have to tuck a problem solva in your pants waist. Go ahead and get you a Lewis Bag and start making some crushed ice. Beat that ice like your dick while you look at women zapping glawk mags and the ever rising death toll of communism.

Spiced is good for shots and all but you want to go with a white rum here and NO FLAVORED LIQUORS or you’re a total cuck. Go ahead and dump a single shot into your shaker. Think about mag dumping. Think about mag dumping into grabbers when they effeminately Ram down your door because they’re soyboi legs are too weak to be a proper fuckin door kicker. Take a shot of something. It shouldn’t be your first.

Grab a handful of mint leaves, pick em off the stem, (we’re animals but we aren’t uncivilized) and toss em in the rum. Start pounding that shit like meth when she gets drunk enough to offer up the zap. Pound that like the bleached assholes of stepper faggots when they finally get Bull to notice them. When they’re all nice and crushed, grab a strainer.

You’ll want to throw some of your ice in a Collins glass, strain that liquor into the glass, add a bunch more, a little simple syrup, a splash of soda, and then a lot more rum. Also take a shot of it. Yard pop while you sip your mojitos. Gay umbrella optional.