Okay retards, here’s the deal: exercise in only half the battle to being the glorious Viking/samurai/Spartan/sheepdog/whatever gay-ass shit you idolize. Maybe it’s even only 25% because, honestly, the biggest issue is diet. You can lift all the weights in the world but if y’a eat like shit you’re not gonna see fuck-all in results.
No, diet is not just shoveling whatever deep-fried salt-laden bullshit mummy brings down when you scream at her from your basement larpground. I’m here to give you my thoroughly unqualified, entirely anecdotal (it means personal experience, mouthbreathers) directions.
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Calories in vs out. Weight management is math, retards. You intake caloric energy, process it, and then spend it on your somatic and autonomic nervous processes. You’re gonna want to figure out your RMR and use that to set a baseline caloric regimen for your day (3K is what the Commie faggots in government recommend). From there, it’s all about covering that plus whatever your exercise expenditure is. Yes, jacking it to porn/feet/guns/trannies counts as exercise, kind of. If you want to drop some pounds, try eating at about 500 less than you expend. It’s a good start; 1000 isn’t hard but there’s no need to rush. Use the lube of time to slide right in comfortably.
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Macros. As in the opposite of micro, like your peen. Macros comprise three categories: fats, carbs, and protein. Yes, tendies do straddle all three categories with a decent balance but it’s BAD FAT. Think of fat like this, avocado is good fat, like meth ass and tiddies. Bacon is bad fat, like that show involving 600lb landwhales showcasing the moral failure of their obesity. Macros are personal to the person and goal but a good rule of thumb for the average male trying to cut weight and maintain/increase muscle is 40 protein, 30 fat/carb. Adjust as needed; ladies should usually run 40 fat and 30/30
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Vitamins/minerals/fiber. These probably don’t belong in the same category, like loading my favorite caliber into a 556 barrel but I’m the author here so shut the fuck up. Vitamins are easy, just eat some Multis every morning. Minerals less so, try to incorporate spinach into as much as you possibly can. Seriously, it’s damn near flavorless when cut up and cooked so throw fresh baby spinach into soups, chili, burger patties, eggs, fucking anything. The extra iron will do you good and it’s a little fiber to boot. Beans will also help with protein, fat, and fiber. And if you don’t like beans you can move to another country, ladyboi.
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Nutrition labels. Fucking read them; it isn’t hard to do it and the internet will tell you everything you need to know about them. Avoid trans fats, check the macro balances, and stay the actual fuck away from high sodium content and things like high fructose corn syrup. If you can build a goddamn Stoner-blessed rifle out of internet parts then you can read a label. While we’re on the subject: organic is fucking retarded. Don’t pay extra for it unless you want to proudly announce how clinically stupid you are.
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Alcohol. It’s awesome and I have nothing negative to say about it. Mixers, on the other hand, are stupid and gay. If you like booze, drink booze. But quit cutting it with goddamn soda and fruit juice, which is worse for you than the actual fucking booze. You’d be amazed how clean and easy a vodka-soda-lime, with or without a hint of simple syrup, can actually be. Whiskey is great with a squeeze of lemon or orange.
There’s a lot here, honestly, and no way I can cover it all but these tips, in conjunction with Pt. 1, should get you faggots on your feet and moving. As before, add/subtract/argue you dumb homos.
How fucking dare you say bacon is bad fat you Muslim cock sucker. Part 3 is going to tell us to start fucking goats next isn’t it?
Outside that, good advice. Here’s a website to get your RMR https://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/calrmr.htm
Oh don’t get me wrong, I just had some bacon for a snack, just don’t overdo it.
But in the spirit of gunnit my actual answer is REEEEEEEEEEEEE SKYNET TERMINATE
I thought RMR is the thing I gorilla glued to the rail of my AR9?
Gorilla glue is for hair. JB Weld is for gunsniffing.
Well yes but actually no.
I would try increasing your garlic knot intake and also pouring vodka on top of them. Until the farts are productive, they’re just the foul humours within you being purged.
Once they become productive, they’re an excellent way to spice up almost any social occasion.
A wind turbine butt plug that could change your phone would make them productive.
Where does meth and cocaine fit in all of this?
Yes.
Vegetables are poison. #CARNIVORELYFE #YOUVEBEENLIEDTO #IMBETTERTHANYOUANDIKNOWIT
Vegetables are not only good for you, eating them is the ultimate form of insult to your prey. It says that you arent only content to hunt, kill, butcher, and cook them but that you want to take their food while you do it, too.
Yeah, stop eating my foods food you assholes
Came here to say this, I know how fucking buck wild carnivore sounds but I've been on the plan since Thanksgiving and it's literally changed my life. Backstory!
Blew out my back in Iraq (plates are heavy, ammo is heavy, massive and constant erection is heavy) and since then I couldn't REALLY work out like I used to. Constant pain. Went though a number of PT cycles, bullshit chiro, pain mgmt and all of it. Then I heard Dr. Paul Saladino on Rogan discussing how vegitables obviously co-ecolved with fauna to NOT be eaten and how high fat diets (there are no bad fats) reduce infamation.
So, 3 months later I don't have back pain, at least not the constant and endless kind. I might tweak it or strain a little but I don't have constant pain that I've had since 06. I've also lost a good amount of fat and since I can legit work out I look better. Combine looking good with feeling good and that the meth is all about giving me the sex now. Way more than normal. Plus, my cholesterol numbers are LOWER than when I was on a balanced diet.
You all need to try it. Make sure to get the (admittedly sort of expensive) Ancestoral liver pills. Because if not you're going to have to eat a lot of liver and that's terrible.
Also get yourself a smoke big tittied meth who you like. That's important
Jesus when’s the last time you took a shit?
I was skeptical too. Still am honestly just because I don’t know how sustainable it is. I read the book in the fall. Didn’t start in earnest until after christmas. I’ve done no-carb diets before and they’ve been fine but this carnivore thing is nuts. I feel better than I ever have, my joints don’t ache anymore, and I have a ton of energy. The pooping thing is weird the first week or two but it goes back to normal. Also, very little flatulence which I thought was surprising.
I also enjoy organ meat, always have. So unless you do too, that part might be a challenge
Do you do any supplements? If so, which ones?
No, just a daily multi but I haven’t done blood work or anything to see if I need them.
I’ve been eating carnivore for about 6 months and can co-sign the above.
I supplement with fish oil, vitamin d, zinc and dhea.
Drink a shitload of water. This ain’t carnivore specific. Drink a shitload of it.
Do you eat organ meat regularly?
Legit the first week or two it was rocket fuel diarrhea. apparently because you don't have any carbs or fiber to soak up the water it just passes right through you. But then your body just figures it out you have regular shits again
In nature. There are no bad fats in nature.
Stay the fuck away from trans fats though. That shit is literally worse than smoking. The data is some of the most robust out there. Not even the partial 0.4g portions that the FDA lets food companies hide by rounding down.
The traces that occur that in meat and milk are fine, but don't put hydrogenated anything into your body if you can avoid it.
Fair point, it's normally not a big deal in carnivore though because transfat mostly come from oils (right?) And oils are a strict no o.
You can deep fry meat in lard or tallow and that's fine
Yeah, everything you just described is just saturated fat present in meats. The mainstream party line is that is bad (or at least worse than the monounsaturated stuff), but I'm skeptical about that and if you are going full carnivore you implicitly are as well.
Trans fat is what you get when you take vegetable oil, crank it up to many atmospheres of pressure, and then start bubbling hydrogen through it. It doesn't occur in nature at all, except in tiny traces. It's basically an industrial byproduct that, as it turns out, is not particularly good for you. Your metabolism doesn't know what the hell to do with it. The numbers are scary -- something like a gram or two a day to double heart attack risk.
Once upon a time, they decided "unsaturated is better than saturated", so they had us replace saturated fat (ie lard) with trans fat (ie crisco) because hey, at least it's unsaturated.
dude I remember McDonald's deep-fried their french fries and beef Tallow instead of vegetable oil. They were a million times better tasting and far more "healthy"
Now I coat raw chicken strips and bits of pig skinand deep fried in Tallow. It's awesome
I exclusively coat my cast irons with bacon strips and my liver with
paint thinneralcohol.Cholesterol is created from carbohydrates, a derivative of the citric acid cycle, only 30% of your cholesterol is from consumed cholesterol.
Doctors aren't smart. Autists are
Wow....that explains why I feel so good.
“ladies should usually run . . .”
No women come here.
Your mom comes six or seven times each night and that’s not even my record give your balls a tug
Titfucker
what about ladyboys trying for that girly figure?
also where do the supplements that increase your nut volume fit in with all this? asking both for a friend
Googled multivitamin and there are 69 million results. Which one I eat?
I prefer gummies or crayons.
Charms or crayons really
Vitamin Mineral Fusion, available at INFOWARSSTORE.COM
Sounds like you’re wasting valuable calories on Pepsi
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
5.) How much better for you is the alcohol if ingested via ass bong?
My crayons don’t have a nutrition label. Does that mean they’re calorie free?
Crayons feed the brain and sole. They have colories.
Vodka, Pickled Herring, What are you on about my dude?
I’ll eat a whole wet bu key full of shit before I ever entertain pickled fish again
My D is definitely HYUGE but, short of getting a personalized vitamin plan (which is a great idea) a multi makes a good start.
Multi usually covers 100% of Vit D (the one a days do at least)
E: one a day gives 125% so I’m getting extra D
RDA for Vitamin D is bullshit. Add a zero.
This likely goes back to the Resting Metabolic Rate; you’re eating at a deficit.
Here’s the way I understand it: eating at severely restricted caloric levels, especially if they aren’t a good balance of macros/vitamins/minerals, is a pretty unhealthy way to lose weight. You’re likely fine for now as it’s most likely your body metabolizing it’s built-up stores but itd be ill-advised to rely on that, like expecting meth to let you drill the third hole before lubing her up with pillow talk and a half bottle of White Wolf.
If you want to maintain weight, eat at something pretty close to your daily value (using RMR). If you want to do that and lose handles/belly, eat that value + good macros + a solid workout regimen focusing on the fat-burning cardio zone. If you want to do ALL that + build muscle elsewhere, add lifting and make sure you’re accounting for calories burnt and upping your protein macro to accommodate.
As always, drink Bangaloo and build guns without permission. Show toes bb.
8 cans of sardines per day gives you all of your necessary nutrients, all your macros, plus 800% your daily of selenium, and 300% of your calcium.
I said it below but I’ll say it again. Drink a shitload of water and quit drinking sodas.
Life is all about balance.
I love alcohol so I gave up soda, sugarcoffee, sugartea, and regular fruit juice. I don’t really do cakes, cookies, pies, or sugary shit, take it easy on fast food/fried food, etc.
But I drink like a goddamn Russian/Irish/Catholic Fish.
As do I. My rule is Sunday-Thursday I keep it clean (water & black coffee only [and dip]), and then Friday & Saturday I really go off the rails.
The worst part is all the healthfaggots trying to get you ‘over your plateau’. I’m at ~13% body fat and I’m comfortable; wouldn’t mind dropping a little weight but that’s the scoop so whatever. But every one of them is like ‘oh if you just cut/ stop drinking alcohol you’ll really get into great shape.’
THEN WHATS THE FUCKING POINT
There’s a frank sinatra quote about this somewhere...
Bad fat (excluding trans fat) is bullshit propaganda perpetrated by crisco infiltrating the american heart association. Zymogens don't care anon, neither should you
That moves into an area of cholesterol balance, though, which is a deeper discussion. Leaner protein > fattier protein, always.
Only 30% of your body's cholesterol is from cholesterol you eat, 70% is from the CARBS you eat.
Booze gets treated as a sugar as it is metabolized so sadly feeds this.
This is why people on the keto diet from cholesterol numbers like mad
Somehow I got under the impression that only highly processed carbs contributed major amounts to cholesterol. Obviously eating the sugar breads is a bad idea so I hadn’t paid it much more attention and, since I’ve never had cholesterol problems, that was that.
I’ll read more but, again, I always recommend balance. 40/30/30 of good foods is not a bad way to be.
In relation to tendies meal time, eating smaller portions (200-300 call] more frequently (2 hrs) will help with the metabolism.
Troof. But 200-300 calories is, like, two tendies so get ready to not eat like mommy’s speshul boi anymore.