4
scruffyusp 4 points ago +4 / -0

LSD is a lot for shooting machine guns. I feel like some psilocybin is a more earthy high for full auto.

And fuck no, I've never felt like I fit in anywhere.

Imagine my joy and surprise when I found a group of people that loved guns and also espoused a whacky sense of humor and some good ol'fashion nihilism.

That's why you're all the best.

Believe it or not, I was drinking and eating tacos in a bar and had a big old conversation with a guy, he paid for the booze and tacos and then asked if I knew about a place called "weekendgunnit". I then asked him if he knew who uncle Scruffy was. He did. We laughed. He's the only man alive that can match a face to name.

2
scruffyusp 2 points ago +3 / -1

Stop jacking off with icy hot and learn to chill a little ya fuckin' square.

5
scruffyusp 5 points ago +5 / -0

I laughed my ass off man. seriously. Couldn't tell anyone else what I was laughing at or I would get fired.

7
scruffyusp 7 points ago +7 / -0

Well fuck, I'm sold. Pass me that shoe polish and the sunflower dress hanging next to my AK and giant stack of back issues of "Small Arms Monthly".

As a lesbian woman of color I'm running for national office.

There's so many political figures I want to call a faggot which I think black trans lesbians can get away with, I had best get started.

29
scruffyusp 29 points ago +29 / -0

I take the job, then I tell them I identify both as black and a woman.

No one comments on the shoe polish on my face and my pretty, pretty pink sundress.

As a diversity hire I am promoted. I quietly start running the entire agency in short time.

We stop enforcing the nfa and import ban.

Suddenly, atf vans show up at parties to distribute full auto sears and alcohol.

The atf goes from laughing stock and tyrants to the most requested party catering company in the US.

No dogs are harmed.

3
scruffyusp 3 points ago +3 / -0

Dude for cheap an arx100 would be the tits of all tits. It would be like orange marmalade covered tits.

I hope that's true just because that would be cool af.

10
scruffyusp 10 points ago +10 / -0

I don't care what she looks like. That's a fucking shoulder holster.

(Fap noises)

5
scruffyusp 5 points ago +5 / -0

Benellis make me hot.

8
scruffyusp 8 points ago +8 / -0

I own a jiminez .22.

I cannot throw stones at thee without breaking the many glass windows of my own house.

7
scruffyusp 7 points ago +7 / -0

Did you guys hear? Taurus has been selected for a major contract in a country that has running water!

10
scruffyusp 10 points ago +10 / -0

It's a bit too large to fit inside a human being for concealment without major alterations. Prolly to the human.

12
scruffyusp 12 points ago +12 / -0

That's awesome actually. I've been thinking about a revolver as I don't really have one. I don't mind buying one that smells like old English malt liquor either.

2
scruffyusp 2 points ago +2 / -0

I dunno, I heard they went off a bit more than that.

You talking trigger part replacement or when some asshole does a kitchen table trigger job?

3
scruffyusp 3 points ago +3 / -0

Well, the rem 700 does have the fun of going off randomly.

9
scruffyusp 9 points ago +9 / -0

Indeedily do sir. Just like prohibition, you tell an American they can't have it and they say "fuck you".

It's one of the very best parts of our national character.

12
scruffyusp 12 points ago +12 / -0

That era republican party and nra backed the cosmetic features ban of the 90's.

7
scruffyusp 7 points ago +7 / -0

Don Johnson is my spirit animal

11
scruffyusp 11 points ago +11 / -0

Holy damnit this is some of the hottest vintage shit I have ever seen.

I know what I like and this Miami vice era stuff is it.

7
scruffyusp 7 points ago +7 / -0

My scorp is black with a tan brace. We're opposite buddies!

5
scruffyusp 5 points ago +5 / -0

Someone not old enough to buy a handgun says I should live free or die?

I'll allow it.

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