The rules are simple: we pair bourbons (american made, white oak, fresh bbl) to gats that most closely resemble them in terms of taste and aesthetic. u/ScruffyUSP will have the final say on gud or fgt pairing
I’ll go first: Tin Cup and Glock
It’s a little esoteric but you see it everywhere. Tastes reasonably smooth enough to appeal to a wide range of palettes but also gets the job done. Wouldn’t be surprised to run across either in most bars or back alleys. Reasonably priced.
Sheep Dog peanut butter whiskey and Hi-point
Both leave a sticky residue and lead to/are a product of questionable life decisions.
You advance to the next round contestant. Well done.
Gas station vodka and a PMM
I like that you said vodka in a field of whiskey entries. You could make an argument that the history of vodka and bourbon are much the same in terms of their working class roots and appeal as well as historical importance of being portable and compact trade items. It being sold at a gas station where i can get a hot dog can also be seen as a plus.
The pmm is an inspired contribution as well being the only slide mounted safety that doesn't make God sad besides maybe the walther ppk. It's honestly a good gun and well made often in its many regional variants.
A lot of people can't separate the awful gangrenous stench communism from sweet russian guns but i'm glad we can here. Guns are the best, the piquancy of russian small arms is a delight.
This is another solid entry.
THREE SOLID ENTRIES IN A ROW LETS GOOOOOOO
peekandsee is a new one
Shhhhh, don't tell anyone but i'm actually super literate and shit. Pretty much i cruise this glorious place and read books on my kindle app. I'm qualified to teach college classes but can't seem to get hired. Must be wearing the wrong plate carrier to interviews.
Knob Creek and a vintage 1911
I once got to play with a 1918 vintage. Also a 1921. They were beautiful.
The smoothness of the machining and the fit even after all these years speaks of a beautiful world that we won't see again i fear. A time when people did was what right not because they had to but because it was right.
Knob creek is delicious and classy.
As i sit here cleansing my pallet after that with miller high life/VP9 i think and ponder on history and how great guns are.
I look at this VP9 and wish there was also a VP45.
I'm drunk now i guess. Good thing i'm not at work anymore.
High Life is best cheap beer
Lonestar is best figger it out
Extrapolate (even though it’s rather self-evident)
Also I was gonna say R&R + HiPoint
Hi point is always an automatic win here. It's the ugly duckling that has become a beautiful symbol.
It's necessary to change it up though. So many beautiful guns.
This was a good idea and funny Friday surprise and i thank you for it fren.
Just doing my part to keep the poop flowing, Uncle. Speaking of
Pour a good hooker of brandy into some cold brew coffee. Any beverage over 70F is gonna start killing the alcohol so you’ll want to do cold brew.
That’s it. That’s the whole drink. Drink it as fast as possible. When questioned by your boss as to why you’ve wet yourself at work, give him the same steely-eyed glare and hardass line that I ad hoc’d for the occasion:
“What a man puts in his coffee is his between him and his gods”. It works a lot better when you aren’t leakin air from the coffee shits trying to evacuate your backdoor.
John Bowman Single Barrel, FN Hi-Power, and a slice of apple pie.
Can’t find any modern gats made in VA but Sic Semper Steppers.
The FN is a modern gat and i fucking love mine. The single barrel is as distinctive qnd delicious as the smooth lines designed by that beautiful man Dieudonne Saive thay gave us the FAL, Browning did some early stuff but his was so much different o honestly think of it more as Saive.
Magazine disconnect yes or no? IT'S IMPORTANT.
The smoothness of the whiskey goes with the elegance of the grip of that gun that makes me think of fine thighs on a fine lady.
Fucking solid entry.
Take the mag disconnect out immediately. Makes the trigger pull so much nicer.
It truly does. Takes a good handgun and makes it a thing of transcendent beauty. Maybe that's just my 'tism though.
Jack Daniels 7 that my cousin forgot to hide and a rusty Remington 800
Tastes like dust and family bonding and venison that is a bit overdone but still good.
The rust of the remimgton goes with the wood smoke burn of the jack if you lick them both.
Ever sous vide venison? Gets it craaaaazy tender.
Didn't know i was doing this but ok. Here we go.
That's a damn good pairing. I've had both at the same time. Good stuff.
Smokey, solid and gets the job done.
Not at all overpriced and just like the glock the whiskey comes with free stuff. Like that metal shot glass.
This is the quality content I subscribe for.
Kentucky Deluxe and a cast zinc starter pistol.
I like booze so your pairing is ok on that, the zinc starter pistol is not technically a firearm so while that is minor disqualification i'm going to allow it due to the idea that being too drunk not to notice it wasn't a real gun is in keeping with the spirit of this competition.
You're also making steady eye contact and you keep doing that knife speed hand thing from "Aliens". You've hit your hand a few times and don't even notice. That's a winner in my book.
Fair and unbaised judging
I must contest "technically not a firearm".
The only strict technical definitions of firearm that would exclude such a tool are those provided to us by the steppers. These have no place in polite society.
In any common parlance, outside that found in infringements, it is very obviously a highly specialized firearm.
Plastic jugs only
Woodford reserve no.10 white corn and HK p2000 in .40s&w
Did someone give you my secret code? I carried a uspc.40 for years. The P2000 pioneered what i honestly feel is the best location for a decock on a hammer fired gat.
Woodford is a classy beverage and it's established yet business like appeal is like the smooth lines of the P2000. Well done.
Not a bourbon but the Mark Cuban tequila and a golden Desert Eagle
The desert eagle is a glorious and ostentatious gun. Golden makes it more so. I wish it was tiger stripe.
The celebrity tequila is like the desert eafle in that it is still appealing but overall a sign of celebrity ostentation.
Only deagle entry so far.
Old Granddad and Colt Cobra
Do you remember before glock?
Old granddad does.
It harkens back to an era where auutomatics were suspect and the .38 was the 9mm of its day.
Cars had fins and everyone had a revolver.
Vintage as fuuuuck.
Besides the colt being a new reproduction but i digress....
My Cobra's a 1964 OG. I'll post a pic soon. I've got one around here somewhere from years ago when I moved into a new place (might take a new one, got a bottle and some speedloaders to prove I'm rich too.)
That's awesome. I don't actually own a revolver oddly enough. Handled a python once. It was a work of art.
If i got a revolver i think i would shoot competition with it just because.
Smith and Wesson model 10's could be had fairly cheap for a minute there (the panic buying and Biden admin will prolly kill that) But they're really solid .38's if you can find one for a deal.
OGD (bonded) is my drink of choice. Does this mean I have to swap my Beretta for a Colt Cobra?
While I greatly prefer bonded, I currently only have the regular stuff (I blame my Meth, never should have let her go to the Liquor store alone.) but Bonded is more blackpowder territory in my opinion. Get yourself something that needs grease and a powder flask. Maybe a nice single action. Classic stuff. But that's just me.
I wanted to wait so others got a chance before dropping the holiest of holy:
Blanton’s Special Reserve Rye and an H&K USP Tactical .45 running Mk23 mags
Amongst the most holy of their categories with a price tag to match, the little something extras are what really set these two aside. Coming from the original single bbl babies this rye is delightfully spicy while maintaining an air of genteel smoothness none of us faggots will ever match. The suppressor-height sights, threaded barrel, lightly-stendy mags all come together as a magnum opus of what the USP has to offer.
I’m going to go shamelessly masturbate now.
There's something so great about those talented krauts building a gun in the cartridge we used when we beat them in a war. Lessens the sting of them building the best guns in the world.
The tactical adjustable trigger takes the slack away and my fuck that's a smooth drink.
I need more .45 ACP and a half hour to recharge. I am spent.
If they made it in 10mm I’d literally have a permanent erection.
There was a guy on HKpro that converted his to 10mm.
The USP45 is also supposed to be the only factory gat that can rock 45 super. But i don't know, never tried it.
10mm is cool as hell though. In terms of automatic pistol cartridges that can fuck up bears its in a class mostly by itself.
It's so hard to do without also pairing a meat treat to go with it...
Ol' Tube Sock and a Home Depot Glawk served with spicy Venison snack sticks.
50/50 Venison/Beef ratio, season with: Salt(finely ground), Pepper(finely ground), Ghost Pepper powder, Garlic powder, mustard powder. I usually make this when I'm chain smoking joints the size of tampons so I basically just throw a bunch of spices and sometimes herbs in there.
Home made gat? Meat sticks?
I'd offer more but i'm too busy eating and spraying meat crumbs all over the table trying not to blush at all that romantic talk there.
You sir, are a discerning 'tist.
Homemade errythang Uncle Scruffy. Ol’ Tube Sock started out as moonshine my dad made back in the ‘80s that he aged for 25 years with oak staves. His experience with homemade booze involved wine and beer which degrades in sunlight so he stored the jars of whiskey in tube socks(doesn’t do anything, lol) hence the name.
I'm honestly speechless. That's so gorgeously American that i feel like an F14 and a bald eagle should fly by while electric guitars wail the national anthem. Hats off to the makers and drinkers of old tube sock.
I wanna say something silly and mildly obscene but all I can hear is jet engines and guitars.
Homemade booze and homemade gats are the only things on my family crest beside toes and poosi
Why are there no pics of the pairings? I’ll post mine soon
Looking forward to it.
Woodford and a beretta a300. Both belong in a duck blind.
Woodford is delicious.
Beretta makes a good shotgun though o confess the Benelli M4 is my favorite. Benelli in general gets me off.
I don't understand long barrels and low capacity. I just don't. Can't speak that language.
But the long sight pic and elegant swing speak to me along with the memory of hunts long past shared with people you treasure. Just as this contest has shown many samples so does this of outdoor Americana.
I'm a go play with a shorter shotgun now.
The long barrel is for better killing of winged tendies. And the low capacity is due to your nosy ass uncle sam and his bird law.
I actually have a degree in bird law. Not currently practicing though.
Thanks for decoding.
*hacksaw noises
No need fren. Even a hunting gun can be used gloriously for a big igloo.
That slide action sounds like slave labor and that bourbon tastes like forgetting my many inner demons and emotional scars.
This is great white trash pastiche, if you had thrown in it being loaded with birdshot for home defense it would have been a decisive entry. As it stands its a solid effort in a day where we've seen some real art work. Back to you at the studio tom.
(Stumbles away)
Ten high? Couldn't afford the Old Crow?
Oldest running distillery in the US i heard.
Also a reason i lost a year of my life lol.
Peppers 1776 Rye and a 1911 in a leather holster
SPEZ: Heres your picture https://ibb.co/6DZt3NS
I thought you’d be gone fancier, honestly.
Im a cheap asshole, besides I figured Bulliet bourbon is to on the nose
Okay now that’s a 1911 I wouldn’t kick out of bed for jamming on me
*kisses
What kind of 1911? How tight is the barrel bushing? GI sights? 3 dot? How's the slide to frame fit?
That's a tasty rye, i feel like a smooth sexy gat would go with it.
Auto Ord milspec. Super tight and never jammed
I just editied the original post with picture
Now that's Americana!
Makes me want to wear a damn fedora and go to a speak easy. The fedora wouldn't work with my homeless alcoholic fashion vibe though.
Tom Waits disagrees
Huh. Well damn. You're absolutely right. I stand corrected.
Clase azul tequilla and 357sig p320. Effective, delicious, holy.
I still really want a 357 sig
Me too
.357 sig and clear tequila? I can dig it. It's a high brow semi trendy deal with the tequila and sig but you throw a curveball with the cartridge.
I'd have to pair it with some citrus, perhaps tuna steak tacos.
What's nice about the sig is no manual safety to get in the way of victory yard pops after you talk someone(s) or something into a three way.
A strong choice.
Jefferson's Reserve and the colt walker in cap and ball.
Let's burn off a whole cylinder of rounds and then do shots while inhaling the smoke.
I like that you added a scent component to your entry.
Bulleit Frontier Bourbon, Winchester Model 94 and Colt Single Action Army
Eagle Rare with a 9mm floating in it and a ruger pc carbine.
Eagle works. Ruger i shan't judge you on due to it being the best pcc besided the scorpion.
Angles envy and some fancy kraut shit
Bby, i love you but you need to try harder. While fancy kraut shit is a great key word i need more satisfaction.
Henny and a glock fawty
Old Crow and a rusty flintlock.
How dare you disparage old crow in that manner.
I keep trying to reply but everytime I think of old crow I have to throw up. Tastes like a dusty frism.
Mad Dog and a Mac10.
Gangster as fuck. I love it.